I watch and wait, yet they are all blind

Turn Back Time

I if could go back in time I would take back ever accepting your propose, but would I really take it back? I only see reasons why. It started off as something great, but that was broken. I was willing to make a change, but something was holding me back. I knew that things got bad, yet you weren’t willing to accept the fact that I wasn’t perfect. You feed me lies. I was the fool to believe them. I was to blind to see what was there. I put to much of my time and effort into this for it to be thrown away. I don’t see why it wouldn’t work, but you made the decision before I had any say. Taking away what could have been, think it will save us before it is to late. I don’t see it that way, but I guess I can’t fix that now. For you refuse to talk to me. Now things will remain unfinished dreams lay forgotten, and lives unfinished.

One could only wish to do such things, yet it shall never happen or can it............

What do you do when things get way out of hand. I see this couple that is having a big problem, well their not a couple now, but need to be. I mean it's strange. I noticed that they are trying to hide from the world but it's really not working. The girl is in a relationship but she isn't into the guy that she is dating. She is in lov with this other guy. Someone that she never even expected to lov. She has so many things that are keeping her from being with him.

Then you have him, where he is in a relationship(sort of) with a girl, but he likes the girl that lov's him. He is willing to give up anything to be withher, but it is killing him the situation that she is in, because he really wants to be with her, but all the shit is holding her back. He could careless what happens as long as he is with her.

It's just that fact of what they need to do and how they are going to do it. Other wise it's bullshit. The whole situation is crap and it is retarded. I feel bad for her becuase she goes through alot in her life and the one thing that she wants she can't have it because of all the crap that will follow. What is she to do?

It’s funny how things work. I mean I understand a lot in life but there is one thing that has me stumped that is LOVE I mean it one of lives unsolved things. Now when I do the math you figure two people that like one another would go out. That is normal the case, but no not all the time. This drives me up the wall. Why isn’t that when two people like one another, they don’t go out.

They tell you stuff that you really don’t want to hear; yet you accept it for what it is. They think other wise. In a way they are right, yet not entirely. They think that you are holding your tongue when in a way you are, but aren’t. Then again they can be so naïve. They don’t see something that is staring them in the face. They are soooooo far from it that they pass it up or….

They get your hopes up then crush them. It really kills people. When they think that for once things are going to go the way that they should and everyone on God’s green earth knows it, but yet something is keeping them from achieving that.

Now because humans are humans they can only think for themselves, and they don’t know what someone else is thinking. Well when the person assumes which they are normally right thinks that the other person they want to understand why (in full detail) the other person doesn’t want to be with them. It can really drive a person crazy, and make them do stupid things.

But lets say that now they have a blurry watercolor and not a full picture, they kind of need to know more. Especially when they would put anything on the line for them and that no matter what the will always be a strong feeling there, even if that means keeping it locked up deep inside them like they have done for ages. They will wait. (yet again) even if it kills them to do so, or watch the person go on and date other people, and go in and out of relationships. No matter what the coast they will always be there as a friend, even if they wish to be more, but being there friend keeps them close, and they don’t want to lose that that is all they will ever have.

Yet I still can’t see why to people who like one another don’t go out, what do they have to lose especially if they have been friends for a long time, if things don’t work out they stay friends, but why would things go wrong I mean they kind of know a lot about one another already, unless they shut down from etch other nothing bad could happen. It’s not like they fight all the time so what do they have to lose, this needs to be explained to the other person so the one putting themselves on the line doesn’t get hurt once again. Why they understand that there are things that come before them. They need answers.

How things work out. You start off thinking one thing and doing one thing and it ends ups leading to other things. I't just so funny, how your intentions are never the same. It works out strange. I guess there is no way around what happens. Everything is ment to happen. No matter what. I guess that the little things debate on how long until something happens. Not really whats going to happen. I guess he was right that everything is already set in place and that what ever you do was redestaned. It could be true, but who is to say.????? :-/

Nothing is ever what it seems. Hidden faces, are what humans are. Playing one another until they get caught and have to look for a way to save their ass. What a shame. They will be picked off one by one and there is nnothing anyone can do about it. I'll just sit back and watch as it happens for nothing will touch me because I am a shadow. They will be removed from the picture and things will come crashing down in there place. What a wonderious thing.

It work in such strang way I mean it is strange how it works. It makes the body move, think speak. It can be a pro and con in some cases. A pro is that it keeps the body alive in a way for it tells every part what to do, yet if it gets damaged then your just sol.

The mind can be a friend and an enemy. It can help you ye make you fall all at once. How? I have come to believe that no matter who you are, your mind can be your worse enemy. Why? Because it can play games with you and you are unaware of it, it can make you think to an extent that can make you crazy, or paranoid. Causing you to change the way you do something, affecting the people around you.

The mind is an amazng element a human, demon can have. It is a one keep that keeps you alive. Yet can be the key that kills you. The mind is strong, yet weak. HOW? Well the mind is powerful, it is what makes everything an individual. You think as and undersatnd things differently. Sometimes it can be the best thing that you have. Yet it can also be the worst thing you have. Every human and demon is differnt, they truely are. Just follow patterns and life styles crap like that. Yet the mind is what sets things apart.

Powerful, is what the mind is. It holds so much power oveer the host. It can control the body think the way it wants to think, make the host do as it wishes. Like it has it's own mind (which would be a never ending chain of minds because that one would need a mind, then that mid would need a mind, and then that mind would need a mind, and so forth.) With all of that power it determines. What you are going to do and what will happen to you. For your actions do affect what will happen to you.

Control, dominance, power
That is the key to a life.
Or is that what we think?
It could be,
but a host will never know.
For they do not hold the information.
The mind does,
and the host does not control the mind.
The mind controls the host.
So all of lifes unsovled answers are solved.
Just we do not know them,
for we are not ready to know.
The mind holds it hostage,
until it decides that we are ready for the knowledge it stores away.
The mind is the key to life.

People lie all of the time. Never sticking to there word. Always bending the rules and trying to get away from what they are unsure of. People say that they want to stop something like drugs and drinking, yet they never stick to it. I understand too an extent as to why people do the things they do, but a part of it is still a mystery.

I have always been in the shadows, watching and waiting for things to happen. I see the small things that people fail to pick up. It is like looking at the big picture, yet seeing all of the flaws that people fail to notice.

I understand that everyone has problems and they try to hide it from the world. They think nothing of them, or the wish for people not to know. Yet they don’t always find the best way to solve the problem. When things get to over powering for human, demon, anything, they look for an escape. Now demons have some what the same drugs as humans. People pick bad habits to get escape. They drink, do drugs, smoke, kill, cut, anything that comes to mind. I can understand what it is like, yet everyone is different.

But sometimes people are looking for an escape when they break a nail. People say that they are afraid of death yet they are always looking for the quickest way out of life. Always looking for a way to get away. I don’t understand why?. People talk about death all of the time, they say that they will never do anything, cut, run away, kill themselves. Yet when it comes to do it they back out.

That is the difference between the strong and the weak. The strong could go through with it, yet they are weak for taking this way out of life. The people that don’t do it are weak for not doing it, yet strong for finding a way to get though. It all depends on how you look at it, and what view point you have. Demons will look at you one way, well humans will brush it off, or see it one way way.

That is another thing about humans is that they never know what to do under pressure. They never think about others they look out for themselves. Some think that they are good under pressure, but in all reality they aren’t. Humans are most like to run around and not know what to do then to stop and think about what to do and how to get away. Demons think to an extent and go for there own when they see that it can be done. If not it is everyone for themselves. Something I hate humans for.

People are never aware of things. They never ever see what hides right in front of their face. They see are blind to the world that think a myth. When humans do see what surrounds them they ask how could you lie? When it never was a lie just they never asked. When questions lay forgotten so do the answers. No need to explain what no one wishes to know.

Looking at the people as they pass me up. Right in front of them yet they don’t see me. Sweeping by watching for long periods of time, yet they are unaware. They only see me when I want them to. Other wise I could be right behind them yet they don’t know I’m there. A shadow is what I am. A creature of the night.


AlL aLoNe In ThE DaRkNeSs, As ThEy ArE UnAwAeR Of My PrEsEnCeS

Things have been strange.Things are getting worse. I see how peoplae are crushed by things. Some people do care others don't. It 9s funny how people can be blind by simple things. Little do they know what lies ahead. I just proved that people are stupid. But what ever. I believe that the world is a beauitful place, just humans make it ugly. Their is nothing I can do about that.

The world is a beautiful palce, just humans make it ugly.

I stand back and watch everyone. Looking in on there lifes and they don't even see me standing there. I watch and learn. I find it intresting that humans never think twice as to what is behind them. They are so caught up in there "things" to even know that they are being followed.

I really do stand in the shadows of people. Watching there lifes pass them up, see where they are going worng when they are blind to it. I don't know what to call this a gift or a curse. To be what I am, it is lonly, yet enjoying in it's own way. I haven't yet figured out what I want in life, but then again there isn't much to life. It is funny.

Watching, waiting is all I do.

The rain out side is so pretty. The sound as it hits the grond is soothing. The damp cool winds. the dimish light, the sky of grey over the world. It is so peaceful. Such beauty can only come from this. The enjoyfulness. The darkness seems to be setting the mood for most peole. I love the rain.

Going back to see more people and watch them go about there lifes.

Rain, Darkness, all beautiful things that make to life worth living

Current Music: The light rain

Current Mood: sleepy

Sitting back and laughing at how people struggle. I mean I watch an see that people are always trying to become something that they aren't even sure that they want. They are always trying to prove that they are better then everyone else. It makes me wonder why?

THAT IS ALWAYS THE QUESTION WHY? I mean no matter how much you look at something it can still be explained even more.

Like why is it that humans are live. What truely is their purpose. Their is so much more to life and I have yet to figure it out. I'm still trying to figure out humans, they are amasing creatures. Always changing. They keep you on your toes, yet they can be perdicable. Something that you can't find in other animals. Humans seem to have minds of their own. They work differently yet the same. It is funny.

Then their are the few things in life that make it worth living. The surronding area is great. I mean all of these places that surrond me hold such beauty. Looking out over the water is such a beautiful thing. The sun hitting the water, the moon that has risen high on a cloudless night.

The stones that are falling form the castkes that have been around for years, the great rain forests of the world, to the dry desert. It all hold some exotic beauty. Then it s destroyed by humans and their stupidity. Always fighting and killing the beautiful things in life. Why

Their is so much more to life. Then all of the fighting, yet Humans and demons are always destroy it. Don't kill the beautiful things in life. In the shadows I see the beauty in life along with the darkness</marguee>

Current Music: The sound of people fighting

Current Mood: determined to keep beauty